i suppose it's about time for another update.
God has been teaching me sooo much lately. i feel like He has really been breaking me down this last week in many different ways. He's reminding me of my sin and how unworthy of His love that i am yet He still loves me.

it's been a pretty rough week just with a lot of emotional things going on and a lot of drama in the house. there have been some pretty intense situations. God teaches me so much in all of them and is always right there with us. He is in control, not me. my prayer is that all that we do brings glory to His name-how we handle the situations, the relationships, everything.

i've been thinking and praying a lot about what God's will for me is when i am done here in August. right now i'm not sure what it is but i'm just trying to continue seeking Him and falling at His feet surrendering all that is in me so that He can use me however He wants to.

God has really blessed me with a lot of support here. this past week i was really supported by the other bigs and staff and it was awesome to see how God works things out.

i guess thats all for now.

waiting

this past week was beyond week at Shelterwood. there were a group of kids who went on a mission trip to El Paso for the week and the others, including me, stayed back and served here in Independence and also at a local camp. some worked at a homeless shelter and others at a food pantry ministry. it's a good chance for the kids to get out of their normal routine at Shelterwood and get out and serve others and interact with those outside of here. it was also a good chance for me to get to know a lot of the new girls since half of the girls were gone on the mission trip.

God is really breaking me in a lot of ways lately which has been extremely tough, but i know it needs to happen. that would probably be my biggest prayer request right now.

we are now up to 14 girl littles, the highest since i've been here and there are probably more on the way. we could really use prayer right now as we are trying to adjust to having so many girls. it's challenging because we used to be able to have close relationships with almost all of the girls. as the numbers increase, it's harder to maintain the close relationships with them. we are learning that each of us will soon only be able to connect with a few and invest in their lives and not neccessarily be close to all of them. it's hard because my heart breaks for each of them and i want to invest personally in all of their lives but its just not possible. i am learning to trust God in this area...He knows how to best use me in the girls lives.

norm and i :)

waiting

sorry its been so long since my last update. it's crazy how busy things get here and how little time it seems there is. this past weekend was LeadTime parent's weekend which meant that my parents and family could come visit and hang out for the weekend. it was really good to see my parent's, cree, benji, and izaac! it was nice to be able to show them around and let them get a better feel for how things go here because its so hard to describe without being here. we had a lot of fun and it was relaxing! i was so blessed that they were able to be here!!



it's been pretty emotionally draining here lately, but God is continually humbling me and reminding me that I can't do it on my own strength.



lately God's been teaching me to wait on Him....to fall more and more in love with Him and as I'm doing that I'll know what His will for me is.

weakness

change is inevitable
my attitude significantly effects a lot of things
it should be the same as that of Christ
we just got new bigs
its crazy how it changes the dynamics of our group
relationships are hard
i never feel like i can be intentional enough

God wants our brokenness and our helpnessness.
He wants our weaknesses.
He wants our strengths.
He wants our pride.
He wants everything.
Its hard to give everything until we've been in the desert like Moses and lose everything.

2 Corinthians 12:9
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


just some thoughts from today...

absolute surrender

lately God's been showing me that i'm trying to hang onto certain things in my life rather than surrendering them to Him.  when i think about it, its a slap in the face to Him because me hanging onto things is saying that i don't trust Him, that i think i might be able to handle something better than Him. that i can take care of it on my own strength. it's pride at its root. it's crazy to think that i want to be in control rather than giving God control.  why is it so hard to surrender everything?  why is it so hard to surrender daily?  i mean, God is sooo big and so much in control and has proven Himself faithful over and over again, but i still struggle to surrender every aspect of myself to Him.  

on another note, here at LeadTime...

we've had a pretty emotional weekend with some girls leaving the program. other than that it has been going pretty well, still very hard but good.  it is now the end of the fall semester and we will be starting up the spring semester after christmas break.  this will include new classes for us bigs and some new bigs.  as far as i know we are getting 4 new girl bigs which means there will be a total of 12 here.  it will be interesting to see how the dynamics of our group changes, but i'm excited to see what happens and i think it will be good to get some fresh blood in there.  pray that the littles will be able to accept the changes and give the new bigs a chance.