we are now up to 14 girl littles, the highest since i've been here and there are probably more on the way. we could really use prayer right now as we are trying to adjust to having so many girls. it's challenging because we used to be able to have close relationships with almost all of the girls. as the numbers increase, it's harder to maintain the close relationships with them. we are learning that each of us will soon only be able to connect with a few and invest in their lives and not neccessarily be close to all of them. it's hard because my heart breaks for each of them and i want to invest personally in all of their lives but its just not possible. i am learning to trust God in this area...He knows how to best use me in the girls lives.

norm and i :)

waiting

sorry its been so long since my last update. it's crazy how busy things get here and how little time it seems there is. this past weekend was LeadTime parent's weekend which meant that my parents and family could come visit and hang out for the weekend. it was really good to see my parent's, cree, benji, and izaac! it was nice to be able to show them around and let them get a better feel for how things go here because its so hard to describe without being here. we had a lot of fun and it was relaxing! i was so blessed that they were able to be here!!



it's been pretty emotionally draining here lately, but God is continually humbling me and reminding me that I can't do it on my own strength.



lately God's been teaching me to wait on Him....to fall more and more in love with Him and as I'm doing that I'll know what His will for me is.

weakness

change is inevitable
my attitude significantly effects a lot of things
it should be the same as that of Christ
we just got new bigs
its crazy how it changes the dynamics of our group
relationships are hard
i never feel like i can be intentional enough

God wants our brokenness and our helpnessness.
He wants our weaknesses.
He wants our strengths.
He wants our pride.
He wants everything.
Its hard to give everything until we've been in the desert like Moses and lose everything.

2 Corinthians 12:9
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


just some thoughts from today...

absolute surrender

lately God's been showing me that i'm trying to hang onto certain things in my life rather than surrendering them to Him.  when i think about it, its a slap in the face to Him because me hanging onto things is saying that i don't trust Him, that i think i might be able to handle something better than Him. that i can take care of it on my own strength. it's pride at its root. it's crazy to think that i want to be in control rather than giving God control.  why is it so hard to surrender everything?  why is it so hard to surrender daily?  i mean, God is sooo big and so much in control and has proven Himself faithful over and over again, but i still struggle to surrender every aspect of myself to Him.  

on another note, here at LeadTime...

we've had a pretty emotional weekend with some girls leaving the program. other than that it has been going pretty well, still very hard but good.  it is now the end of the fall semester and we will be starting up the spring semester after christmas break.  this will include new classes for us bigs and some new bigs.  as far as i know we are getting 4 new girl bigs which means there will be a total of 12 here.  it will be interesting to see how the dynamics of our group changes, but i'm excited to see what happens and i think it will be good to get some fresh blood in there.  pray that the littles will be able to accept the changes and give the new bigs a chance.  

narrow road

today i just got back from at retreat called the narrow road. we took five girl littles, and five guy littles, a few bigs, and some other staff to a camp called God's mountain.  the littles had showed interest in going, so they wanted to be there which was cool.  it was an awesome chance for us all to be outside of Shelterwood and outside of the norm.  it was a beautiful few days!  

God knew I needed to be there.  i had some really good conversations with some of the littles and staff.  i also was able to just be still with God and to lean and rest on Him.  i got some much needed emotional rest and time with God.

patience

this past weekend was pretty crazy because it was family weekend for the littles! most of their families arrived on Thursday night and stayed around until sunday. they stayed off property, but would come around during the days. it was a pretty draining weekend, but pretty cool to meet their families. i definitely learned a lot! thanks for praying for the weekend!

also, i just found out that i will be one of the three bigs going on the Narrow Road retreat this next tuesday until thursday! it is a spiritual retreat for littles that want to go! there are five girl littles going and five boy littles going. i'm really excited that i get to go, i know God has some amazing things planned there! if you want, you can be praying for that. i guess that their hearts would be open and willing to listen to God. also that it would be a refreshing time for me too.

God has been teaching me a lot about patience lately and someone asked me what God's patience toward me looked like....
a good question to ponder, any thoughts on that comment!

mere