summer

two weeks ago I was able to go home for our pre-summer break. i drove alone which ended up being some good time in prayer and much needed time alone. it was really good to be home and spend some time with my family and friends.
this past week was our first week of our summer schedule. i'm excited for the summer, there's a lot of things planned and a more of an opportunity for us to lead.
the summer schedule looks a little something like this:
8 Breakfast
8:30 kids in school until 12:30
9-10:30 girls group, fellowship time, class (depending on the day)
10:30-12:30 time off
12:30 lunch
1 the kids are out of school and we are with them the rest of the night until beds at 10:30
Each night a different activity is planned by certain bigs.
Monday: game night
Tuesday: Bible study (we are each taking a time leading)
Wednesday: serve day and movie night
Thursday: Sports night (this is the group i am in for planning)
Friday: Adventure day and house night
Saturday: Room night
Sunday: church and rest

I applied for the wing director postition here and should find out this week if it will be offered or not to me. If you could be in prayer that I am seeking God and that I draw nearer to Him through this, whether I get it or not. That I would be in His will whatever I do after this August, and that He would be changing my heart and preparing my heart for whatever that is.

camp galilee

this past week all of the littles and bigs and some extra staff went to Camp Galilee. we broke into four teams and basically the days we were there were a competition. we played lots of random and fun games, including mission impossible. my team was in the lead the entire week until the end! each team had to do a skit on the last day and incorporate a song into it and some of the theme. we also did some service projects for the camp, which ended up being cleaning up brush and trees from a bad storm. it was some good manuel labor!
everynight we would have a sort of chapel....sing songs and someone spoke.
i was asked to speak one of those nights on the future. most know that speaking in front of groups is one of my biggest fears. needless to say i said i would do it. it was really challenging for me, but i'm definitely glad i ended up doing it. i learned a lot in preparing for it and in actually speaking.
we had a pretty rough night last night. one of the girls cut pretty bad. it breaks my heart so much to think that they think that is the only way to relieve their hurt and pain. i don't understand it and it even makes me angry.
it's really hard being here, it hurts. my heart breaks for these girls and i pray that they will see Christ through me and if they learn nothing else while being here, that they learn that only Christ can heal them and use their brokenness for His glory, that they would seek Him in their time of need.
summer is quickly approaching, next week is the last week of school for the girls, then is break, then summer begins.

this past weekend was parent's weekend for the littles. all the girls families were able to come which was awesome to see. it was actually a really good weekend for the most part. it is fun to meet the parent's and get to know them. we get to go out to meals with some of them and what not so besides the awkwardness of it, it's good!
i got a new little in my room this morning. i am off this weekend so i won't really know much about her until the week begins. you can be praying for her and for our room.
on tuesday all of us are heading to a camp until friday. i'm really excited for it. it will be a great chance for team building and relationship building. i'm excited to see how God works there. we definitely need to be in prayer for the littles and for staff. also, i was asked to speak on of the nights on how my relationship with God affects my view of the future, so i could definitely use prayer for that...that i speak honestly and that i let God speak through me, that He takes away my fear and anxiety of talking in front of groups.
also, august is strangely approaching quickly and i could use prayer for direction on what to do after i am done with LeadTime.

i never really know how to start these things off, so i'll just jump right into it. God is continually teaching me so much and revealing to me so much about myself. He's teaching me a lot about confrontation and conflict, and how without it there really isn't much growth. He's showing me and breaking down a lot of hardness and bitterness in my heart that prevents the Spirit from flowing through me.

we are down to 10 girls now. i think God knew we couldn't keep getting new girls...we had had 3 in a week at one point. so it's been nice to be able to build relationship with the girls here without have to have to try and put more energy into new realtionships.

i guess that's all for now

i suppose it's about time for another update.
God has been teaching me sooo much lately. i feel like He has really been breaking me down this last week in many different ways. He's reminding me of my sin and how unworthy of His love that i am yet He still loves me.

it's been a pretty rough week just with a lot of emotional things going on and a lot of drama in the house. there have been some pretty intense situations. God teaches me so much in all of them and is always right there with us. He is in control, not me. my prayer is that all that we do brings glory to His name-how we handle the situations, the relationships, everything.

i've been thinking and praying a lot about what God's will for me is when i am done here in August. right now i'm not sure what it is but i'm just trying to continue seeking Him and falling at His feet surrendering all that is in me so that He can use me however He wants to.

God has really blessed me with a lot of support here. this past week i was really supported by the other bigs and staff and it was awesome to see how God works things out.

i guess thats all for now.

waiting

this past week was beyond week at Shelterwood. there were a group of kids who went on a mission trip to El Paso for the week and the others, including me, stayed back and served here in Independence and also at a local camp. some worked at a homeless shelter and others at a food pantry ministry. it's a good chance for the kids to get out of their normal routine at Shelterwood and get out and serve others and interact with those outside of here. it was also a good chance for me to get to know a lot of the new girls since half of the girls were gone on the mission trip.

God is really breaking me in a lot of ways lately which has been extremely tough, but i know it needs to happen. that would probably be my biggest prayer request right now.

we are now up to 14 girl littles, the highest since i've been here and there are probably more on the way. we could really use prayer right now as we are trying to adjust to having so many girls. it's challenging because we used to be able to have close relationships with almost all of the girls. as the numbers increase, it's harder to maintain the close relationships with them. we are learning that each of us will soon only be able to connect with a few and invest in their lives and not neccessarily be close to all of them. it's hard because my heart breaks for each of them and i want to invest personally in all of their lives but its just not possible. i am learning to trust God in this area...He knows how to best use me in the girls lives.